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Friday, April 16, 2010

Im currently feeling high on band, but that doesnt stop me from being rather serious about some things that i'm once again being reminded of.

i remember saying that we cant possibly read some people's emotions because they're pretty imba at hiding their real emotions. notice when i say imba i really mean that the person can mask it so well no one suspects it, cheating everyone but him/herself. take an example, there's this person who feels utterly crushed by something bad that happened to him earlier on but when he sees his friends not from his class in order not to let them worry he pretends that everthing is alright and smiles, chats happily. the thing is, he's smiling on the outside, crying on the inside. and most of the time no one knows what happened until much much later. " That's scary," some say.

guess what, i just had this "joke" played on me twice in a row. and yes, BOTH times i detected them, but i dint know how to address them. why? cos im basically a dumb insensitive person who doesnt know how to console or deal with situations like this. situations when i know that someone is feeling bad/upset/sad but i just dont know how to help. i feel useless in this type of situations. yes, i actually made the mistake of denying that i heard that particular feeling in one voice. i cant explain properly to others cos im scared that i'll say the wrong thing. but if i dont say anything, it'll be awkward.

i guess i should admit that i do play such "jokes" on people from time to time because i dont want them to worry and so i hide everything. everyone has bad days yea, but i feel that its wrong to show others that i have one and let them deal with it. yes, i sometimes keep emotions in a jar. yes, i sometimes dont even tell you the whole truth why im feeling sad/emo/upset. and yes, i sometimes dont even hint that to you. "Thats really scary," you would say. Thats imba for you to an extreme point.

yes its scary, so please dont do it already if you know how it distress me so. i'll much rather you tell, cry or rant to me. at least this way you wont feel so bad after that. after all thats what friends are for right? ^^ yes please note that whatever i type here is not cos i bu shuang all of you or anything kay cos if i really was i would just confront you all instead of a roundabout way like this. its just the way i feel that can be addressed in this post. no an insult or anything.

end on a high note, 2 more weeks to speech day, then can start chionging for NBC!!! NHSB GOLD!!

-one band, one sound-
kei_owen

catch me if you dare{11:43 PM}
____________________________________________

KEI~
Bounced into the world on 14.01
A born atheist
Being a lovable, warm, friendly zodiac DOG
A Capricorn who has a Saggitarian personality
307'10 Nanhuarian
6B '07 Fairsian
PROUD TO BE...
(1) the one and only tenor saxo player in sec3 NHSB
(2) the serious ASL and instrument QM in NHSB too
(3) a level head EXCO of CAREFORCE
(4) a grade 6 classical guitar player
(5) a member of YI ALIVE

wishlist
*A band of good friends to be there for me
*people who loves me for who I am
*A good acoustic
*To find what i have been searching for so long
*Memories that can be kept
*To never be tied down

links towards other worlds and beyond
Music~


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com


memories

February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
September 2010
October 2010
creds

image designer and codes: krysne
programme: Photoshop 7.0
brushes: 123
special thanks: tabby :D